‘Don’t pickle anything’ – this, and some more of the best life advice and wisdom (and, some 2021 reflections and a reading-year-in-review)

We’re a bit of a ways past that time of year when people make their [futile] resolutions, read articles about ‘the top 100 ways to improve your life’ and perhaps even reflect a bit on the past year.

We’re constantly being inundated with life advice, top 10 lists, unsolicited tips and hacks on how to better yourself and it can be tricky to navigate through the minefield, separating the good stuff from the noise. To take just one example from early in 2022:

100 ways to slightly improve your life without really trying (The Guardian)

Have a look at that list, now or later. Sure, there are some nuggets there and a handful that I like and want to adopt, but some of them are…odd? Unusual? Just plain weird?

But hey, it’s all in the eye of the beholder, right? What’s odd to me might not be so odd to you. Let’s take three examples of each – three examples I really like and three I think ‘what the…!?’

Three good:

1 ‘Consider going down to four days a week.’ (ah, but if only I could…)

2 ‘Laugh shamelessly at your own jokes.’ (I already do this, but hey, why not keep a good thing going?)

3 ‘Always be willing to miss the next train.’ (oh yes, oh yes, oh yes…how I despise people who run for trains and buses, unless it’s the very last one of the night)

Three not-so-good:

1 ‘Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts’ (really? I thought people left messages on voicemail like 20 years ago?)

2 ‘Always bring ice to house parties (there’s never enough)’ (seriously? Like, lug around big bags of ice to parties? Won’t it melt before you get there?)

3 ‘Be polite to rude strangers – it’s oddly thrilling.’ (actually, I think this is perfectly sound advice – I just find it difficult, I’d so much rather swear and be passive aggressive to rude strangers, including not long ago when I swore – in English – at a couple in the supermarket, the woman who ran and jumped right in front of me in the queue to hold a spot for her partner who then maneuvered his packed trolley ahead of me, when I had a measly four items…but the joke was on them, for at that very moment another till opened up next to us and I joined that one, and I’m telling you, swearing at people in a calm and steady manner is one of life’s great joys…or maybe I need psychological help…)

I’ve only selected from among the top 30 of this list, but feel free to peruse this, and the myriad other lists out there this time of year.

And now, a story that illustrates ‘don’t pickle anything’, my favourite advice from the past couple of years. This came from a New York Times column that I’ve long lost.

From August 2015 to September 2021, my mother-in-law lived in Vienna and we visited her multiple times over the years. Vienna, and those who have been there will know, is full of cultural delights, including some of the world’s greatest museums and galleries, most of which I had planned on visiting at some point. There were also plenty of daytrips, including supposedly one of Europe’s most beautiful train journeys, that I wanted to undertake. 

A friend once told me about his philosophy of travelling, and it’s one I really appreciated and incorporated. Although he’d been to San Francisco many times, he’d never taken the famous cable cars, because he always wanted a good reason to go back – not everyone has the luxury of re-visiting places, but considering that Vienna was so close, and that we had a reason to visit once or twice a year, I always figured I was safe in saving some of the trips and museums for future visits.

And then Covid hit in March 2020. And we never made it to all those galleries, and we never took that epic train journey, all because I was saving it for future trips.

(at this point, I would forgive you, dear reader, for interjecting here and saying ‘right, so in other words, don’t procrastinate?’ yeah, sure, but ‘don’t pickle anything’ sounds better.)

‘Don’t pickle anything’ is a fun piece of advice, but also conflicting. I love pickles/gherkins, and I love the pickled vegetables so common in Ukraine every winter. 

But ‘pickling’ too many other things means missing out on some great opportunities, or saving things until it’s too late. I have unworn shirts I bought two or three years ago that I have yet to wear, and by now, my belly might be too big for me to fit into them. As a teacher, I have my treasure chest of favourite activities which I like to put off for as long as I can, and then suddenly it gets near the end of the school year and I’m scrambling to squeeze them all in, berating myself for not having done them sooner. Imagine you’re an aspiring musician or writer – the dilemma might be whether to use all your best material for that first book or album, gaining a huge following and meeting with immediate success, or saving some of the good stuff for later, only for your first piece of work to be met with ‘eh, this could’ve been so much better…’ 

Wear that outfit right away. Eat that extra mature cheddar cheese before it goes off. Tell your best jokes first thing. Have that difficult conversation now, not before it’s too late. 

Maybe pickle a few things, but be careful what you pickle. (and let that be a euphemism, if it makes you feel better).

Regular readers will know that I like talking about resolutions early in every year, and if you choose to delve back into my archive – knock yourselves out! – you’ll come across a number of resolution-themed posts. My favourite resolution from over the years, the one that I’ve stuck with and has changed my life immeasurably? Drink your coffee black. That means no milk, no sugar. And my, what a resolution that was. Never mind all this ‘work out, eat healthily, drink less, be nicer’ nonsense. Simple, achievable, meaningful and realistic resolutions are the way to go.

This year, no resolutions to share, but instead, a reflection of some of my favourite gems and life tips from the past 12 months. And for so many people right now, getting off social media, or using Facebook/Tik Tok/Snapchat/Myspace less is probably a resolution, and a worthy one at that. Not for me – I hardly use social media anyway, but I do love Twitter. And the secret to loving social media, reducing social anxiety and not letting FOMO – the Fear of Missing Out – get to you? Don’t follow friends on Twitter, follow the professionals: journalists, business/finance people, comedians, writers, a handful of publications. Don’t tweet. Just read. It’s fun, there’s some great stuff out there if you don’t jump into the mess. Stay a neutral observer and you’ll discover plenty of nuggets. I spend maybe five-ten minutes a day max on Twitter and I enjoy most of it and discover so many interesting things. (another tip: don’t follow too many people, but follow a diverse crowd – I follow around 50, and about a third of them rarely tweet at all)

Herewith, a collection of the best things I came across on Twitter in 2021, followed by an ever-so-brief list of my favourite books of the year.

From Barry Ritholz, Bloomberg journalist, financial advisor and Bloomberg Masters in Business podcast host:

Said it before and I'll say it again: If you can't explain what you do in about 30 seconds it's either illegal or fake.

From Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals:

I think a lot of good self-help advice and maybe a lot of spiritual teachings etc boil down to "stop beating yourself up for failing to do that which is, in fact, beyond the capacities of any human to do."

Always intrigued by men who choose to drive cars that just *scream* "hello, I am compensating for something" – whether the underlying psychological theory there is true or not, it's a widespread idea, and you'd assume that they'd assume that a lot of people would be thinking it.’

"…At a certain age it finally dawns on us that, shockingly, no one really cares what we’re doing with our life. This is a most unsettling discovery to those of us who have lived someone else’s dream and eschewed our own: No one really cares except us." – Stephen Cope

From Morgan Housel, author of The Psychology of Money and blogger at Collaborative Fund:

The best reading filter is to always ask "Will I still care about this a year from now?" Huge majority of the time it's "no" and you can move on to finding something else.

You are the only person in the world who thinks the world operates the way you do.

Your personal experiences make up maybe 0.00000001% of what's happened in the world but maybe 80% of how you think the world works.

From Ryan Holiday, author of The Daily Stoic, among other Stoic-related books:

"True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it." – Karl Popper

“We learn not for school, but for life.” – Seneca

“Nobody learns what he can do except by trying.” – Seneca

"I believe that reading and writing are the most nourishing forms of meditation anyone has so far found." - Kurt Vonnegut

‘Looking back through my work, I see that it is invariably where I lacked a political purpose that I wrote lifeless prose and was betrayed into purple passages, sentences without meaning, decorative adjectives and humbug generally.’ (Orwell, ‘Why I Write’)

The best things to write are the things you're afraid to talk about.

5 Things Every Parent Should Enforce: 

1. Make them go outside 

2. Prioritize reading 

3. Limit screen-time 

4. Hold them accountable 

5. Let them make their own decisions

AND…

What Having Kids Has Taught Me...

-Routine is everything

-Walks are magic

-Most obligations are totally voluntary 

-Cut people a break—we’re all managing a lot

-Quality time is a myth. All time is special.

-In the end, your successes won’t matter to you. Only family.

Things you should NOT do, according to the Stoics:

- Don't be overheard complaining...even to yourself (Marcus Aurelius)

- Don't put on airs about your self-improvement (Epictetus

- Don't overindulge in eating or drinking (Musonius)

- Don't speak more than you listen (Zeno)

"The need for certainty is the greatest disease the mind faces." Robert Greene

Life hack: When in bed, meditate. Either you will have a deep meditation, or fall asleep. Victory either way.

From Naval Ravikant, entrepreneur, investor and author of the Almanack of Naval Ravikant:

The fundamental delusion - that there is something out there that will make you happy forever.

Your mistake is that you’re writing to be read.

Your goal in life is to find out the people who need you the most, to find out the business that needs you the most, to find the project and the art that needs you the most. There is something out there just for you.

Lastly – I don’t know who tweeted these, but it quite obviously wasn’t them:

"Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." – Søren Kierkegaard

“When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.” – Erasmus

"When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure." –Viktor Frankl

My 2021 reading highlights

Previous years have featured ridiculously long ‘oh, look at me and how much I’ve read!’ lists, so let me limit this to just ten – damn, that’s hard:

Mountains of the Mind, Robert Macfarlane

Who Are We? (How Identity Politics Took Over the World), Gary Younge

The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday

Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World, Olga Khazan

The Future of Humanity, Michio Kaku

The Magic Toyshop, Angela Carter

Utopia Avenue, David Mitchell

The Name of the Rose, Umberto Eco

How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence, Michael Pollan

A Crack in Creation: Gene Editing and the Unthinkable Power to Control Evolution, Jennifer Doudna

Being Mortal, Atul Gawande

Okay, I’m going to cheat. There are ten books above, but these ones were the very best:

The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel

101 Whiskies to Try Before You Die, Ian Buxton (how could this not be?)

The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, Jose Saramago

Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder, Nassim Nicholas Taleb 

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness

Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland, Patrick Radden Keefe

Reminiscences of a Stock Market Operator, Edwin Lefevre

Hello World: Being Human in an Age of Algorithms, Hannah Fry