Funfare for the Common Man

A short story of near-misses, butterfly effects, and romantic/career what-ifs: a mini career and awful romance autobiography of sorts. And how a run of fortuitous events almost changed the course of [my] history. ‘It is a fact that when we make decisions in our life, we don’t necessarily know that we are making them correctly; we only think that we are doing the best we can – and that is what we should do.’  Richard Feynman We start our story in late September 2002: my arrival in Edinburgh for a Master’s in International Relations. A nearly 5-year relationship had ended just a couple months before. Late autumn/early winter: a new relationship. Just after we had met, my girlfriend was offered a job teaching at a university in Mongolia. She wanted me to go with her and a decision had to be made quickly. We barely knew each other. Mongolia? ‘What the hell would I do in Mongolia?’ I asked. ‘Teach English?’ she answered, unsure herself. Teach English?! Are you kidding me? I went to Edin...

Waiting patiently Interlude 7: One year later 13 February 2023: our darling little girl’s 5th birthday. 13 February 2022: our little girl’s 4th birthday party, a surreal experience overshadowed by the decision we – I? – had just made the day before to leave the next day, my daughter and I. (note to students: this is not a terribly good sentence; please don’t write like this) If you’re a parent, you’ll know the cliché very well: Where has the time gone? They grow up so fast. We left Kyiv on Valentine’s Day, with a return ticket for mid-March. We were leaving as a precaution, though precaution hardly captures how agonising a decision it was. An accidental career Late March 2022, Vienna: I sit here on a glorious sunshiny spring morning in Stadtpark, one of Central Europe’s most picturesque parks, with birds chirping, fountains in full flow, couples promenading hand-in-hand, the distant strains of a busker adding a jazz soundtrack to the setting. Ah, the life of an English teacher abroad! ...

Editor's note: this is an excerpt from the book the author is currently working on. It is not a book about war or politics or anything necessarily directly related to Ukraine, but it's impossible to ignore what's going on. Therefore, the author has added various Interludes in between chapters, and this is the fourth such Interlude. The book is tentatively titled An Accidental Career. He has decided to share this latest instalment in light of events on the morning of Monday, 10 October. Stadtpark, 14 October, 2022. Defenders Day in Ukraine Monday, 10 October : a crisp, gorgeous autumn morning, as I sat on a bench in Stadtpark, central Vienna, looking at the colourful leaves, contemplating life and what I would do in the day ahead. Rewind to the Introduction, where I found myself in virtually the same exact spot some six months ago in early spring, with the same glorious sunshine, not long after I had arrived in Vienna, wondering what lay in store in the months ahead. It was ...

Kunsthistorisches Museum, August 2022 'They were not true pub-crawlers, who are content to spend hour upon hour in slow tippling and silent reverie in a tavern. No, these two were merely visitors, who went to taverns only for the sake of daily arguments, and once there, cared not a whit about what they ate or drank, minding only what was said. They would have sat around in a tavern forever, if it were a matter of relating some heroic adventure, especially if they were able to weave themselves into the ramifications of the narrative.' Life is a Dream , Gyula Krudy Sucker for nostalgia that I am, I couldn’t help but reflect on the start of the epic adventure that started for me right around 20 years ago, September 2002, as I turned my back on a long-term relationship, an extended stint in the US for university and then work, and embarked on a month-long solo backpacking excursion around central Europe. It was a new chapter in my life, and I wasn’t sure what or where I was heading...

My daughter has reached that magical age where she constantly asks ‘why?’ to just about everything. Why can’t I stick my fingers in that electrical socket? Why do the birds sing every morning? Why does the Gruffalo have a wart on his nose? Why do you read books without pictures, daddy? Kids are insatiably curious. ‘Daddy, why are bad people trying to hurt people in Ukraine?’ How do I explain the concept of pure, unadulterated evil and cruelty and megalomania emanating from the most despicable person in the world and the most reviled, loathsome nation in the world, from inflicting untold misery and devastation on our beloved home?  How do I explain what’s going on right now and how we may not be able to return to our home, and to our new, long-awaited, finally-completed flat that we've only recently moved into, and how do I explain to her that she might not see her kindergarten friends again? Two weeks ago I made one of the most agonising and gut-wrenching decisions of my life. I to...

History really does repeat itself. It wasn’t funny then, it isn’t funny now, but has reached theatre-of-the-absurd proportions. For long-time loyal readers, this is all familiar ground, covered multiple times before. But let’s start from the beginning. Or rather, now: as most of you know, I am here in Ukraine. You might be aware that Ukraine is in the news rather a lot these days. Or rather, these hours. Let’s rewind: I spent much of my childhood, much of the 80s and early 90s in Europe, where a slowly simmering Cold War was fizzling out. I didn’t grow up with any type of existential fear, but there was always that looming concern that something might kick off between the US and the Soviets. I grew up in an American military household, and my old man’s mantra was ‘better dead than red’. The Soviet Union, and the lurking threat of communism on our doorstep, was the big enemy. In 1984, just before going on air to give his weekly radio address to the American people, Ronald Reagan said, i...

We’ve made it to the end: Part 10 (of 10) of my August 2020 Challenge.  Where do we go from here? If you’ve missed any of the previous 9 parts, a recap: Part 1: A decade in quotations: Part 1 (of 10) of the August 2020 Challenge Part 2: My readers ask, I answer: Reader Mailbag, part 1 Part 3: We live in a haunted house Part 4: The Joy of Getting Away From It All Part 5: Looking for truth in all the wrong places Part 6: From the wilds of Western Ukraine to the wild 1970s Soviet Union: Yaremche v Tiraspol Part 7: My wife tried to kill me: [mis]adventures in the Carpathians Part 8: Why my language skills suck: Part 1 Part 9: Why I speak such lousy Ukrainian – even after 10 years in Kyiv So what comes next? First, a quick English lesson: the past simple versus the present perfect. This should be easy for most of you. Compare: This pandemic period was difficult. This pandemic period has been difficult. Are they both correct? No. In the first example, the use of the past simple – was ...