The Plague Journal, Week 3…or is it 4? Who’s keeping track of time anyway?


Herewith part 3 of my weeklyish set of recommended links.

For part 1, click here.
For part 2, click here.

I’ve stopped wondering what day it is. Instead of saying it’s Tuesday or Thursday or what-have-you, it’s just easier to say that today is ‘Day’.

‘What day is it today?’
‘Day.’

A few links, interspersed with my inner rumblings, to keep your minds occupied.

1 Longtime, loyal readers will know how much of a crank I am, and how I often love to wax vitriolic about the foibles of the human race. My list of behavioural pet hates stretches into the hundreds. And after nearly 10 years of living in Kyiv, I have often been pretty harsh in my attacks on local superstitions and archaic shibboleths. So it’s with quite a bit of relief that whenever I go into local shops and supermarkets, there doesn’t seem to be any sign of irrational panic buying of things like toilet paper. Remember, readers, I’m not here to offer up any cogent analysis of the situation, but rather irreverent takes on how I’m seeing things.

So thank goodness I’m seeing plenty of toilet paper, and it’s nice that the locals have kept a level head.

What did people do before toilet paper?
History shows it’s been around for a surprisingly long time—and that we’ve projected our anxieties on its supply before. 

(thanks to Mila for bringing this to my attention)

2 And if you want to be as careful as possible, then you could do worse than heed Alan Partridge’s hands-free advice.

Alan Partridge’s Hands-Free Train Toilet Drill will revolutionise your life.


A brief bit of my usual pablum

Wait, I said something positive about human nature? I’ll need to backtrack. The locals – remember, these are the same locals who tell me off for various parenting transgressions, like not having a hat on my daughter’s head in 20+ degree weather – aren’t exactly doing the best job of following social distancing guidelines, to put it mildly. Even in the best of times, people round these parts aren’t the biggest fans of giving you your personal space. This whole 2 metre/6 feet set of guidelines seems to have bypassed much of the local populace. That, or people are being deliberately defiant and doing their utmost to flaunt the rules.

A few days ago, out with my daughter. Not many people about. Those out and about mainly wearing masks. Three times I waited to cross the road, way off to the right, far from anyone else. And three straight times, with free space in abundance, people came right up next to me, almost touching me, way too close for comfort, waiting to cross. It’s as if they took delight in breathing heavily on me.

And then I got home, My daughter had fallen asleep and so I waited outside for her to wake up. I waited 40 minutes in the ‘courtyard’ – really, it’s nothing as grand as that – outside the flat. There’s LOADS of space out there, and not many people pass through. In the span of 40 minutes, three people walked right next to us, one woman even ever-so-slightly brushing my daughter’s leg. I mean, right next to us. There were probably 10 metres/30 feet free on either side of us, and they have to walk right past as us, as if to say ‘to hell with your social distancing!’

Same thing happened in the supermarket, waiting at the meat counter, when…

…ach, never mind, the same old, same old drivel. People being daft and inconsiderate.



3 This is a very tenuous link.

On irritability:
‘There is so much irritability around and it exacts a huge daily cost on our collective lives, so we deserve to get a lot more curious about it: what is really going on for the irritable person? Why, really, are they getting so agitated? And instead of blaming them for getting het up about ‘little things’, we should do them the honour of working out why, in fact, these things may not be so minor after all.’


An interlude on the world of social media: I read this so you don’t have to

For all the criticism levelled at social media, Twitter has been a godsend these past few weeks. It probably helps that I limit who I follow, and they tend to be reputable people and organisations. (or at least, I think so)

The two most overused jokes on Twitter over the past fortnight or so. They were mildly amusing and original the first time, and are now downright trite:

‘I guess it’s time to change from my daytime pajamas to my nighttime pajamas.’

‘Been homeschooling my kid for 3 hours now. Teachers deserve $1million a year!’


4 My wife often asks me why I read so many damn articles that depress me. I’m a pessimist as it is, so do I really need to fuel my anxiety by reading stuff that’s only going to keep me awake at night?

Why yes, yes I do. I can’t not know.

And once you have a child, I feel like it’s my duty to be aware of some of the evil going on in the world.

This is very far away from the world of pandemics, but it’s just as terrifying. At the same time, it’s an enthralling look into the dark web of assassins for hire. I know about the dark web, and I know what you can get there – this is one of the upsides to teaching teenagers – but I had no idea that you could hire a hitman.

Click Here to Kill
(Harper’s) (paywall with 1 free article)

5 Everybody’s dealing with this quarantine in their own special way. Is it harder for extroverts? For curmudgeons like me, is it any easier?

To wrap up, two pieces on introverts.

Springtime for Introverts
The world has caught up with us at last.

For Introverts, Quarantine Can Be a Liberation
The pandemic is also a time-out from our usual extrovert-dominated culture. We should make the best of that.

‘Now what is the essence of quarantine? “Social distancing,” of course. To an extrovert, that’s an oxymoron. To an introvert, it’s the ideal state. To put it flippantly, it’s the near-complete cessation of small talk, and a rare opportunity to concentrate. Moreover, social distancing doesn’t necessarily mean disconnection, certainly not in the age of Zoom. But unlike an open-plan office, Zoom can be turned off.

Introverts in quarantine are thus less likely than extroverts to feel deflated, isolated or bored, and more likely to be energized, perhaps welcoming the lack of distraction to go deep into, well, whatever. Solitude can make people creative.’


What else I’ve been reading








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