Love in the Time of Corona
9pm every night, after the little one is tucked in for the night
After last week’s heavy theme of the [potential] doom and gloom of the future, this week will be a different kind of heavy: heavy on links, light[er] on commentary.
If there’s one thing this quarantine is doing to people – me, especially, but if Twitter is anything to go by, many of us – it’s sending us down all sorts of nostalgia rabbit holes. You know, I’m not really sure if we can go down nostalgia rabbit holes, but you get the idea.
I’ve been down this…road before, just a fortnight or so ago with my ‘Mixtape’ post. That, along with some comments from old friends, has really kicked the music nostalgia urge into overdrive, and I’m trying to put together a music-themed post. But I’m struggling to find the right angle.
So in the interim, let’s focus on links and love.
As in, this is about the point in the quarantine, if you haven’t reached it already, where tempers are really starting to fray, couples are honing their passive-aggressiveness down to a fine art and where the antics of our little ones are really starting to wear thin.
Interestingly, some people have told me they’re doing great. Others…less so.
Back to music for some inspiration
Two back-to-back tracks from the Cardigans’ 2005 album ‘Super Extra Gravity’ probably best sum up how some of us are feeling right now:
‘I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need to Be Nicer’
‘Don’t Blame your Daughter’
Or maybe that’s just me?
My favourite Tweet this week
This week, some very ‘love & relationship’ themed links to share.
And one thing I really must point out, though I thought this was either self-explanatory or somewhat obvious from the get-go. I was asked about one particular link I shared early on in one of my first posts, and sorry, but I can’t remember which link it was, but I was asked whether I really agreed with what the article said. I should have added a disclaimer, I suppose: the links I share – and I’m being 100% serious here – for once in my life! – do not necessarily reflect my thoughts or opinions.
So, a disclaimer is warranted. These links, and all past links, and any future links, do not necessarily reflect my beliefs or ideals or anything like that.* Some certainly do. Some don’t. But they are all links I’ve read, enjoyed, found interesting, and simply want to share. The original goal was to keep this as ‘pandemic-free’ as possible, but…it isn’t always so.
*Except for the ones related to bodily functions. That should go without saying.
Anyway, as I was saying…’love in the time of corona’, here we go. (Who said romance is dead?)
1. From one of my favourite sites. Surprised I have yet to share anything from here.
‘Imagine two couples, each at home for dinner. The first couple spends the whole meal caressing each other’s hair, calling each other cheesy monikers and, after the meal is finished, holding hands across the table, staring affectionately into each other’s eyes. Before long, they are in bed together. The other couple eats quietly, barely talking and, when the meal is through, they load the dishwasher. Later, they sit in the same room, but apart, both reading.
Both couples are in love. They just express it differently.’
2. Another from Aeon, this one is much longer.
Is marriage over?
Marriage is practised in every society yet is in steep decline globally. Is this it for long-term intimate relationships?
3. When in doubt, my good pal Oliver Burkeman, author of the weekly ‘This column will change your life’, always has sage words.
4. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but Burkeman does link to an Alain de Botton article, and if you’re really in need of life lessons, then you could do worse than visit his School of Life. There are articles about just about anything. If you started with one article here, and ploughed through them all until you were finished, it would take you…a ridiculously damn long time. To say that there’s a LOT here is putting it mildly.
A couple from The Atlantic
The love-free section. Any good shit here? Yes, of course!
7. Let’s start with some. The headline says it all.
8. A fan of coffee or not, this is still quite interesting.
9. ‘Tell me what you’ve seen/ Was it a Dream/ Was I in it?’
(‘On Your Own’, The Verve)
I believe it was Cicero who said, in one of his six ‘rules of conversation’, never talk about your dreams in public. Our dreams are riveting to us, but deadly dull to others, right? Whenever someone says ‘you’ll never believe the dream I had last night!’ isn’t that a cue for most of us to think ‘oh great, this will be so freaking interesting’?
So don’t tell people about your dreams.
But I will. Sort of. I’ve been wondering how/why so many people I know have been popping up in my dreams lately. Some people I know well, some I know less well, but most of whom are playing some sort of role in my life right now. I won’t divulge any names because then things will start to get pretty awkward.
I will just say this – perhaps one of the weirdest dreams I’ve had recently involved a really crowded gym, with weight machine apparatuses attached to the walls, and Margaret Thatcher.
10. I couldn’t include just nine links, could I? An odd number? Just to round it off, and going back to the love & relationship thing, and I know that this goes against my better judgement, but why the hell not? A dire doozy from nearly 9 years ago on the theme of…relationships. I’m scared to go back and re-read this. It’s undoubtedly cringeworthy, and I remember at the time it provoked a few scathing comments and thoughts. I even – gasp! – used this in one of my adult classes. How terribly self-indulgent and narcissist of me.
Whatever.
What I’m reading these days
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