A diabolical and dire display. And the football was rubbish too

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Some things just beggar belief.

Not bad football – that exists everywhere.

And not to play up the stereotype too much, but Ukrainians do like their tipple.

So imagine our utter dismay when we got to the Obolon Kyiv-Vorskla Poltava match only to find just one stand selling beer, with just one keg in operation, and a lengthy queue that didn’t seem to be moving.

Bear in mind this: Obolon is not only the name of the part of town, but it is also the name of a popular beer. This same popular beer not only sponsors the Ukrainian Premier League, but also Obolon Kyiv Football Club. At the ground is the cheapest beer in all of Kyiv, allegedly. And yet they’ve got one lousy stall, operated by two women, one of whom handled the money, with the other one slowly pouring.

We got our beers – the maximum two each, and settled into our seats.

And then the halftime whistle blew. We had spent the entire 1st half waiting for beer.

This was probably the biggest talking point among the evening’s events.

The match itself was absolutely woeful. I’ve seen some truly appalling football in my time, but this has to be one of the worst. Till now, the gold standard for terrible football had been Real Sociedad v Real Betis (0-0, November 2007), but this came close to topping it.

It finished 0-1 to Vorskla. Between them, the two teams had one shot on target. At least the shot went in.

I still don’t expect the Glens to get past Vorskla on Thursday, but on this display, I can’t imagine Vorskla not getting throttled against quality European opposition.

On the positive side: the ticket cost $1.25 and in American parlance we were sitting right on the 50 yard line. It was a gorgeous evening, temperature around 25-26, at an intimate venue with a fair few boisterous supporters. And the beer was 50 cents. Factoring in all of the costs, it would be cheaper to come and drink at a football match than go to a regular outdoor café, not taking into account the ridiculous wait for drinks.  

Next time I go to an Obolon match, if I want beer I’ll get there 45 minutes early.

At least they have beer. At Dynamo Kyiv matches, the only brew they serve is non-alcoholic.


 Well, would you look at this: one measly beer stand for our half of the stadium.


At least the view from the queue was decent. Not that we would have missed much.


 And just as we settled into our seats...there goes the halftime whistle.


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